Walking across the United States of America in 2016 in honor of my sister who died of an overdose. I will be teaching people about this scary epidemic in our country along the way. This is where I will be sharing my experiences….
Walking across the United States of America in 2016 in honor of my sister who died of an overdose. I will be teaching people about this scary epidemic in our country along the way. This is where I will be sharing my experiences….
Hi my name is amanda. I’m 34 and have two children. I’ve been a heroin addict for about 12 years now. Off and on. The struggle is real. And the addiction is so hard to break because of the physical and mental grip it has on one’s body. I’ve been to many rehabs and have gotten clean many times. The longest I’ve had was 18 months. I relapsed by starting to drink again. And eventually the drunk effect wasn’t enough and I always went back to the heroin. I’ve learned that for myself I’m addicted to anything mind and mood altering,so to stay clean I have to stay away from it all. I’ve had such a hard time the last couple years maintaining any type of sobriety,I’d get a couple weeks and always go back. I now have 3 months as of March 11th and the only way I got that was thru a program offered through one of my towns outpatient rehabs. They use the medicine called Zubsolve along with outpatient treatment. They recommend you start out with INTENSIVE OUTPATIENT (IOP) which is three days a week,three hours each day. But for myself I know own I needed more,so I started with Partial Inpatient,which is mon-Fri from 8:30a-2:30pm. They start you on 5.7 mgs of the Zubsolve 2x a day. That much medicine I didn’t feel I needed so I only stayed on that dose for about a week before going to 5.7 1x a day. I completed the partial part then stepped down to the IOP group. I stepped down on the medicine about 3 weeks ago,so now I only take 2.9mgs 1x a day. I completed the IOP last Thursday and now will be attending relapse prevention,which is 1 day a week for an hour and a half. I will do that for as long as I feel I need and the next step on the medicine is .71 one time a day. The problem with most suboxone and methadone programs is that they keep you on the medicine for years. I have a friend who has been on suboxone for 9 years but hasn’t done anything treatment. The program I’m on is meant to last 6 months to a year tops. I’ve never followed through with anything before unless ed I was forced to by probation. Nothing could keep me clean,not my husband,kids or probation,nothing will keep anybody clean until late it gets bad enough that they want it for themselves. I finally want it for myself and will follow all recommendations to keep on this path. The major difference for me this time is it finally got a relationship with a God of my understanding !! I pray every morning for him to help me stay clean and I thank him every night for another day in sobriety! I also attended AA meetings (there’s NATIONAL too,but I’m first and foremost an alcoholic and was ever since I was probably 12,so AA works best for me) I got a sponsor and am working the 12 steps. I am currently on step 6 which is “were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character!” It wasn’t until I became entirely willing to do whatever it takes to get and stay clean that I could get even a day. My ex husband, the father of my two children who are 16 and 10 has been in and out of prison most of their lives due to heroin addiction and the things we do when we’re dope sick. He spent two and a half years in this time and has spent many years in before. So my children haven’t really got to know him,my 16 year old more than my daughter. I am remarried and my 10 year old daughter considers my husband her dad and he’s great at it. My ex got out of prison the beginning of February and got a job quickly bought a car and was doing great! But he didn’t do what he needed to do to stay clean,he didn’t follow up with the recommended treatment, or go to any meetings,but worst of all he continued to hang out with the same people he used with In the past,or even being his cousin that he is really close with! On February 22nd at 12 pm I got the phone call saying his grandma got concerned around 11 when he still didn’t come up for work,she found him dead on his bed with a needle in his hand!! It was figured that he passed away about 8am that morning!! The worst thing In the world is having to act like everything is fine until both kids are home from school and you sit them down having to tell them that their father who they hadn’t even seen yet since he had been out of prison died due to a drug over dose. Having to hold my 16 year old son who’s 6’2″ in my arms while he cries and watch him hold onto his little sister whos also crying is an image I will never ever get out of my head!! Something has to be done to stop this epidemic and you’re making a great start. I believe the dealers have to be faced with the death penalty in order for this to happen! I being a recovering addict know how these people work and all they care about is money. They do that care how many people die or how many families are left with out their father,sons,mothers and daughters! They don’t care because more addicts will want that heroin because we will think it’s that good if it’s killing people,they just don’t know how to handle it and they’re doing too much that’s why they died!! That’s how sick our thinking is!! If the dealers have consequences and are charged with premeditated murder and faced with the death penalty,they he and only then will this terrible epidemic begin to cease!! So thank you sir,they he hank you for spreading the news about how terrible this disease is. It has no boundaries and does not care who you are and what you have in life,it’ll take it and destroy it all as long as you get your next fix!! God bless you and your journey. If there is ANYWAY and I mean ANYWAY I can help please,please,please don’t hesitate to ask me! I’m live in Butler Pa! Email me if there’s anything I can do. Thank you again and my prayers are with you and your family!! God bless!